The Bob MacLeod Fan Appreciation Page!1!

 

The Drawing                                                                                                                             

 

Looking down to see my 4 year old son drawing something, I decided to ask what it was.  There was a tall strange shape that looked a little like a tyrannosaurus rex with no legs or tail, there was also a circle and some lines right at its mouth. 

“What are you drawing buddy?”

“You being eaten.” Without lifting his head he continued to add more to the picture.

“Being eaten?”  I thought back to see if I had punished him unjustly and could come up with nothing.

Having drawn a little stick figure over the animals stomach he said, “Now you’re inside”

In an attempt to regain my dad hero status, and appeal to his boyhood I asked, “Am I going to pull out my sword and cut my way free?”

He answered, “No, your stuck” and continued to draw.  With a new stick figure on the page he said, “Now mom is going to be eaten.”

I replied “well, at least we will be together” and left the room.

Gus

Day 1

                Sometimes it’s tough when you get the sharp end of your wife’s sense of humor.  I developed a massive cold sore over night and it doubled in size throughout the morning.  When my wife came home from substituting teaching she looked at me in horror.  “I know, what am I going to do with this thing?”  I said rhetorically “Name it and put it on the insurance.” She replied, and then walked away.  So, “Gus” and I are going to wait until she is sleeping and then “we” will give her a kiss.

Day 2

                Last night with out my approval Gus purchased some real estate on the inside of my lip.  This understandably turned out to be quite the frustration for my gums and that adjacent portion decided to act appropriately with a fair display of swelling.  I asked them both to stop their argument and for Gus to please remove himself from my presence as I was rather upset with his bold move while I was unconscious.  And further he was starting to disrupt my family life.  As I went to check on the kids, as I do before I go to bed every night, I pulled the covers back from my daughters face and then gently touched her cheek to feel if she was warm.  Her response to my touch was of one who suddenly realized they are wearing a very large spider.  Her eyes snapped open, she swung to knock away my hand and with the other concealed her mouth so as to avoid any possible contact with Gus.  She quickly fell back to sleep in that position.  

Day 3

                He has refused to leave and now I must seek my rights as a land lord for I have never had such an unruly tenant.  I thought that one way to deal with this problem would be to split up the property and sell the lip off as a condo, therefore shifting my burden to someone else’s attention.  My wife disagreed with this approach and stood firm that the parcel could not be divided.  Continuing in her advice she said that the loss of such required frontage would make the rest of the property rather undesirable.  After some thought, I was inclined to agree.

Some of my favorite writings by the great and talented thespian Robert MacLeod...